When Our Teens Struggle with Wisdom and Peer Pressure

I prefer to write more about wellness than anything else, as it has helped me to find peace for my own life, but sometimes we need to talk about the nitty gritty stuff that gets thrown at us in this life. I don’t like to focus on it, but we can’t ignore it either. I’d rather spend my time talking and writing about solutions than shining a spotlight on the multiple problems we face in today’s world. But let’s be honest for a minute. Parents struggle with doing the right things for our kids and our teens struggle with obeying wisdom and often times surrender to peer pressure to fit in. What’s a parent to do?

sunset on red mountains Sedona by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere

In my 23 years of marriage and raising 4 kids, I’ve seen my fair share of teen drama and parenting skills (and mistakes) to glean wisdom from. When Scott and I married young, we faced tremendous opposition through his addiction. Thankfully, we overcame those years and had plenty of personal experience to teach our kids. We never lied about what we had been through and we do feel it’s made our kids stronger.

As a family, we served in the homeless and addiction/recovery community for 15 years. Our kids have seen shattered lives from the front row and witnessed how hard it was for broken people to get their lives back on track. Then my husband and I faced uncertain turmoil when our own daughter was hospitalized after following a doctor’s recommendation to use medicinal marijuana for her anxiety and sleep disorders.

How could she take something that we had taught her for YEARS to stay away from? How could we face other parents as we seemed to have “failed somehow” in our parenting? What’s a parent supposed to do when their legally adult child follows a doctor’s recommendations?

This was an extremely difficult battle ground for all of us, but we become stronger through it. Thankfully, it didn’t tear us apart like it does to many families.

The day we realized our daughter was ill, she had left her girlfriend’s house on foot (though she had her car with her). She was found running on Highway 1 (PCH, speed limit 55 mph) and crying, “I need my daddy, he was right”.

Parents, please listen to my heart. Don’t beat yourselves up when your kids make decisions you don’t agree with. We need to give ourselves grace so we can extend grace to them, because condemnation against yourself or them isn’t going to help either of you.

Navigating through such turmoil takes a lot of patience, love, and faith. I’m not talking about religion or it’s many rule keeping practices. I’m talking about having a faith, a hope, in something better. In something higher, nobler, and humble.

It’s deep within us all, if we just take the time to discover it. Any good discovery takes lots of digging and exploring. Digging through some personal trenches in our own hearts and exploring impossible possibilities.

This kind of possibility is like striking the mother lode. It’s a gold that is so pure you may not believe you even found it, yet there it is and it’s all yours. It doesn’t come easy and you’ll get rather filthy trying to find it. You’ll scrape your knees and your knuckles may bleed.

And when you see it, you may cry, sob, or shout ecstatically. For me, I cried…sobbed.. the gratitude I found in the exploration, prior to seeing our daughter survive and heal from her tragedy. To be truly thankful before having an answer. That hope you grab a hold of when you don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s a life line I’ll never forget.

Yes, I utilized many practices through meditation to help me stay focused. Yes, I thought on stable and empowering mantras and quotes to keep me sane. Yes, I sat in quiet contemplation when I felt my world falling apart.

And all the while I felt a calmness during the storm that is difficult to describe. It wasn’t religious by any means. It’s not something an Atheist would miss. It’s not something that would be hidden from someone of another religion or spiritual practice. It’s not something any parent would miss out on.

It’s something that happens, I think, for any parent who sees their kid suffer.

Have you been there?

*Disclaimer: As an Wellness Advocate I provide my personal opinion and experiences with essential oils, and am not endorsed by dōTERRA Corporate. None of what I testify of has been evaluated by the FDA, nor is it intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. I am not a registered medical professional and I encourage you to discuss your health concerns with your own doctor. I simply share resources and tools to raise consumer awareness. This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclaimer here

I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com

Photo hosting, photo sharing, stock photos, Family Friendly Photo Community on Pix-O-Sphere

Praying for the Persecuted

In all the years I’ve supped with Jesus, a common dilemma many fellow Christians talk about is prayer. We’ve been taught not to pray in repetition, to pray selflessly, to use just the right words, and much more. Does lighting a candle or rubbing some beads really help to elevate the prayer up to God’s throne room? Is the point of prayer to make it travel heavenward or is it to help transform who we are as individuals? Does prayer get answered swifter if we kneel or lay prostrate on the floor? Will tears help God to hear our hearts better or should we pray silently in the closet? Is there a better way? Because the persecuted really need our prayers.

candles for prayer by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere

I know this, when our daughter was in her darkest moments, it didn’t matter to me how people prayed. I was just very thankful that loved ones were praying.

Now there’s a call to prayer for those suffering at the hands of terrorizing religious extremists. Regardless of what religion the victims practice, can we pray for them without prejudice?

And what do we pray for? Who do we pray for? When lives are on the line I want to make sure I’m not praying amiss.

How do we aim our prayers? Is there a specific target?

We naturally want to pray for the victims and their families, but how do we also pray for our enemies?

Can we pray they will witness true love and sacrifice? Shall we pray that these victims speak the words “I forgive you” as they take their last breaths?

May these terrorists realize that God is a God of love, not hate. Pray they witness deeply inspiring love that transforms them into new creatures.

Whether you pray with candles, beads, on bended knee, hand in hand, or shouting out towards the sea, just pray.

 

*Disclaimer: As an Wellness Advocate I provide my personal opinion and experiences with essential oils, and am not endorsed by dōTERRA Corporate. None of what I testify of has been evaluated by the FDA, nor is it intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. I am not a registered medical professional and I encourage you to discuss your health concerns with your own doctor. I simply share resources and tools to raise consumer awareness. This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclaimer here

I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com

Photo hosting, photo sharing, stock photos, Family Friendly Photo Community on Pix-O-Sphere

Can I get a New Year’s Do-Over?

January 2015 hit us head on as our daughter was hospitalized and the day she came home to ‘rest’, our kitchen cabinets had fallen apart and we needed to replace them. So an entire kitchen remodel began and every kitchen gadget, food, and cleaning products were all moved into every room of the house. To top it all off, the new cabinetry didn’t fit with how our flooring sat so we had to redo the flooring too…the entire house. The clutter drove us batty! I need a New Year’s Do-Over.

Each day we had to move furniture from room to room to get the flooring in. Our diet was awful. It was difficult (at times impossible) to cook healthy meals. I am sure we each gained at least 5 pounds during this remodel. Most of the hard work is done and we have some touch ups to do, but I can finally cook again and the house looks incredible!

During January and part of February, I slumped back into a bit of depression. From hospital visits to a chaotic home environment, my mood was frazzled. Then we got hit by some virus that knocked us down for a week.

This last weekend I spent hour by hour putting things away, cleaning my new floor, and wiping down the dusty new cabinets. Even in the midst of the chaos our son says to me, “Mom, when we get this house back together, can we please have a day when you put on that nice music and just rest and read books?” Even this 12 year old was overwhelmed with all the mess and busyness.

I’m back to my home blessing practice that I told you about a year ago. Starting and ending each day with gratitude and blessings for our home and family makes a huge difference and really helps to kick start my 2015 goals.

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Here’s to hoping the roughest part of the year is over.

*Disclaimer: As an Wellness Advocate I provide my personal opinion and experiences with essential oils, and am not endorsed by dōTERRA Corporate. None of what I testify of has been evaluated by the FDA, nor is it intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. I am not a registered medical professional and I encourage you to discuss your health concerns with your own doctor. I simply share resources and tools to raise consumer awareness. This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclaimer here

I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com

Photo hosting, photo sharing, stock photos, Family Friendly Photo Community on Pix-O-Sphere