It was a Sunday morning as I entered the sanctuary…I walked forward to my seat and stood still. Everything seemed to slow down around me..I looked around the room carefully and everything seemed to be in slow motion and the chatter in the room was muffled…I became keenly aware of God speaking in my mind.
“I’m going to shake this place up.”
My heart sank, I was in awe. I wasn’t afraid for me…but somehow I feared for others. Something was going to happen in that place. I didn’t know what it was, but I couldn’t shake this feeling inside me.
I whispered back, “Do it quickly, Lord. Whatever it is, set things straight.”
It was just a few weeks later when my husband decided it was time to stop going to that church.
He couldn’t even pinpoint why..he just knew it was time to pull back.
In the past few years, a young woman who had grown up there… got a lawyer…they’re currently in a civil suit because she was violated there when she was a teenager. There are other stories, but this is the only one on public record.
It breaks my heart that Christianity has to suffer through clergy abuse. The silencing, the pressure to keep their crimes hidden. This shouldn’t be happening.
He shook that place up alright…he shook us right out of there.
I’m thankful we left and I have no desire to ever go back. But the trauma of leaving was extremely difficult.
How many other Christians suffer in silence? This invisible trauma that is often dismissed as “nonsense”, but deep down you know your mental health is suffering. You’re not alone.
I’ve been there. Christianity is not immune to depression. Being in a church does not omit the possibilities of suffering trauma. The Christian community often says their community is like a hospital, but oftentimes it is more of a battlefield. We are left with having to leave that community in order to find healing. How did this ever happen to Christianity?
We tried several churches only to discover the same things…the trauma, people hurting, and they weren’t finding healing in the churches. The building wasn’t the answer. Getting “plugged in” to their “program” didn’t offer answers. It only got you busy. But the pain remained and in some churches we suffered more damage.
The Good News is that Jesus’ power is not isolated to a building, a denomination, or some program. His power is within.
Jesus is all we need…right? But I love people…not that I would put people before my Lord, but isn’t my Lord dwelling within the people? Maybe this deep desire to be among the people is because that’s where Jesus is.
Am I ready to go back into the battle field? This time I’m not going to get healing, I’m going in to offer it.
These days, it’s the church that is the mission field.
{photo credit Lady Jess}
