This fast paced western world emphasizes competition with test scores and comparison charts, yet they forget what our ancestors taught. The very ancestors that built the foundation for education. Our modern concrete and plastic world has long forgotten the intricate fibers, textures, and vibrant colors that shaped the education of ancient worlds.

While we should favor moving forward in this struggling economic and educational society, we must not forget the depth of the truths that brought humanity to where we are today. There is a sacredness in the expansive cosmos of knowledge that is shamefully rejected and is facing an ongoing battle to survive.

This most holy treasure must be preserved and honored. We must not lay down our heritage in obeisance to the neglectful and imperious tormentors of this world. There is no possible way to measure the worth of such a key ingredient to educating the children of tomorrow. You can’t race to the finish line to achieve it, for within this nucleus of hidden treasure is the fact that there is no finish line. It is small yet profoundly large to the point of not being able to contain it all nor capture it for greedy gain.

In all the rush and pressure to obtain it, they miss it entirely.

Born in the late Eighteenth century, a poetic literary artist named C.S. Lewis said,

“the greatest service we can do to education today is to teach fewer subjects. No one has time to do more than a very few things well before he is twenty, and when we force a boy to be a mediocrity in a dozen subjects, we destroy his standards, perhaps for life.” in ‘Surprised by Joy’, a story of how his early childhood was shaped.

C. S Lewis was born to his Irish parents and lived in England during his adolescence. We are often enamored by the retelling of poetic tales from ancient men and women who lived in times of intense depth of soul. A time when stories were told to teach lessons of wisdom, love, and war. C.S. Lewis wrote fantasy tales artistically created in the far away land of his imagination through imagery of animal life. His stories not only entertain us, but when we read between the lines we learn valuable lessons that are eternally applicable to life no matter what century we live in.

We can travel further back in time to ancient Greece where we meet another fable visionary named, Aesop. His literal existence has long been suspected to be untrue, yet Aristotle and Herodotus wrote about him. Regardless of whether or not Aesop actually existed, his tales teach truth through short stories of human-like animal dilemmas. We don’t need to argue over whether or not a fox actually spoke English or if a tortoise really wants to learn to fly. The literal translations of the fables are not the point to begin with. Don’t miss the moral of the stories by trying to win an argument void of truth.

The ancient telling of fables were often retold verbally and later written down.

In a time of verbal story telling, the storytellers were able to show emotion, facial expression, and tone of voice that could lead their pupils to ponder deeper into the stories.   We are treacherous human beings  to omit this powerful expression of education. To further humiliate our most cherished ancestors, modern adults have closed the door to open discussion and collaborative efforts to improve our humanity. For ages, they have banished true free thought and expression in the communities out of fear of conflicting beliefs. Throughout history we read of world powers seeking to silence “rebellions”, when in truth those “rebels” were the ones fighting to preserve this sacred truth. The treason committed against our kind as been to overpower us with dominating control. People have gained control, but missed the beautiful art of communication and understanding. Oppressing the truth out of fear because the truth is so utterly transforming. I shake my head as I sit in awe of just how much more advanced our human race could be if the truth had not been encumbered for so long.

Aesop wrote a simple, yet profound, story that captures the very essence of this impacting axiom in his tale of the Tortoise and the Hare.

“A HARE one day ridiculed the short feet and slow pace of the Tortoise, who replied, laughing: “Though you be swift as the wind, I will beat you in a race.” The Hare, believing her assertion to be simply impossible, assented to the proposal; and they agreed that the Fox should choose the course and fix the goal. On the day appointed for the race the two started together. The Tortoise never for a moment stopped, but went on with a slow but steady pace straight to the end of the course. The Hare, lying down by the wayside, fell fast asleep. At last waking up, and moving as fast as he could, he saw the Tortoise had reached the goal, and was comfortably dozing after her fatigue. Slow but steady wins the race.” ~ Translated by George Fyler Townsend. Aesop’s Fables (p. 18). Amazon Digital Services, Inc..

As I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed this morning, I noticed this elementary aphorism;

“Childhood is not a race to see how quickly a child can read, write, and count. Childhood is a small window of time to learn and develop at the pace that is right for each individual child.”

In the upcoming school year 2014-2015, the States will be implementing a new method of education called, Common Core. On the surface, Common Core appears to be a goal oriented approach to assisting children in attaining a higher benchmark of education. However fancy the words may sound, I have come to see Common Core as the Hare in Aesop’s fable. The aspiration of Common Core is commendable, but the pathway to achievement is perfidious. It’s philosophy is inverted and against the natural grain of human learning. It’s akin to strapping Styrofoam fruit to a tree and calling it nutritious.  The hare is created to be swift to avoid becoming prey, but the tortoise is created to be patient and diligent.

Much like the story Jesus told of the wise man and foolish man, we learn the lesson of diligence and wisdom which can prepare us for a storm. The foolish man quickly built his house on sand, and the wise man patiently built his house on a rock. It’s like the story of the three little pigs. The pig who built quickly so he could enjoy life outside his home, later suffered ruin when the wolf came; as opposed to his brother who build his home out of bricks and survived. It’s devastating to think of how such small and seemingly insignificant stories can still teach today, but are often ignored by the masses.

Ancient years of hard working apprenticeships have been replaced by driven textbook memorization techniques intended to harvest statistics built on sand with sticks.

Children are born to reach the stars they are appointed to and we avert their energy and attention away from their individual greatness. Adults have been deceived into thinking their efforts will give the world a stellar academic scholar, but the result is scatterbrained victims who have missed their place in the universe. Oh we’ve muddled through, but is merely existing the desired achievement?

We force tortoises to trade in their feet and shells for fast and furry legs that don’t belong on reptiles. We’re not all born to be hares.

Many school systems (both public and private), have put children on a conveyor belt to be fed into a machine that alters their created purpose. They’ve missed the sacred for the Styrofoam.

photo credit Lady Jess, free source Pix-O-Sphere

Even many homeschool curriculum vendors have been deceived into following the same destructive patterns. They naively (or maybe deceptively) changed lingo by inserting religious vocab into “secular” textbooks and passed them off as “Christ honored” education materials. They are choking on false fruit decorated in religious glitter.

We must not war with one another in a mad dash race for domination. That sprint doesn’t teach us the value in the cross country longevity needed to have the character and self discipline to be whole individuals who can invest in future generations.

We should aim to move forward, but not when we sacrifice the sacred for the superficial.

Each child is unique and will have their own created purpose. Allow your imagination to flourish for a moment as you ponder the expansive greatness of your child’s future if he/she is raised and educated in a way that strengthens their potential. Daydream with me for a time as we envision the success your child will achieve in his/her arena of expertise if they are formed, shaped, and sharpened in that specific talent.

Have we lost the skillful art of apprenticeship?

We must consider the danger of removing a child’s inner adult and replacing it with a robot void of the truth of what the child is destined to become.

We can’t expect all children to grow up to be hares. The world still needs the diligent tortoises, the beautiful peacocks, the swift cheetahs, and poetic love we witness in pods of dolphins who travel the seas as families.

As parents, we must consider what is best for our children and help them to grow into their personal infinities. We must contend for their future and refuse to allow anyone, or any entity, to steal their future from them. We each have our own path to choose.

Humanity must be set free to become what their stars have waiting for them.

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I’ve genuinely tried to listen to opposing views and tried to reason with ideas of improvement. One part of improving any community is learning how to cooperate with one another and allow the ability to disagree and find better solutions that people can agree to accept. One common phenomena I see is the insistence that we all agree with what critics are saying and bow down to their will for our lives. That’s not how collaboration works.

I also know from experience, that if you want to see change in a community, you need to be a part of that community. Trying to force change in a community you hate, belittle, and accuse isn’t going to bring about long lasting change. The best change a community can move toward is one that is inspired by love for the community and for those within it.

Reprimanding a child every day with threats that they can’t eat the cookie in the jar or else, isn’t a healthy way to inspire a child to follow healthy eating habits. Raising children on threats and punishments puts a child in fear and anxiety. Imposing the “fear of possibly breaking the rules” every day is abusive. That’s no way to raise a child and no way to lead a community or our country.

When you inspire a child to make healthy choices and offer positive results, it will produce a child with a desire to live well. The same applies to a community. We are supposed to be free citizens. Living a free life comes with the responsibility to live wisely and respectfully. When people don’t live wisely and respectfully then there are measures that can be taken to bring proper justice and restoration to the people involved.

Assuming people are not going to live respectfully and so creating laws to control them ..”just in case” does not nurture a person, nor a community. It’s saying, “I don’t trust you to be a respectful person so I’m going to put restrictions on you for the rest of your life”. We are not to be treated as though we are on parole. The Constitution guarantees that the government will not  deprive us of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law” (Fifth Amendment).

The US Constitution website says this about due process of law,

“A law must be clear, fair, and have a presumption of innocence to comply with procedural due process.”

When critics of homeschooling say, “Homeschooling parents might be abusing their kids so we need to regulate them” , then that doesn’t show a presumption of innocence. It shows a presumption of guilt.

Another argument made is that homeschool teachers should be held to the same education standards as a public school teacher (by having a degree). However, a homeschool teacher is also a parent of the children they teach. A public school teacher is not our children’s parent. A homeschool parent-teacher is teaching only their own children, while a public school teacher is teaching a class full of other people’s children. A homeschool parent-teacher is teaching (on average)  between 1-4 children, not a class of 30.

What some critics don’t seem to acknowledge is that all parents are teachers in some respect or another. We teach our own children to use the toilet, to feed themselves, to cut their meat, to wait their turn, to be patient, to speak, to dress themselves, to wash their hands, to communicate, to recognize shapes and colors, to do household chores, to read, to count, and to inspire them to have interest in life and all it entails. We do all of this by the time they’re five years old. We do it all without any degree or oversight from the government. We do it without filing an affidavit of which TV shows we’ll let them watch nor do we inform them of what letters they know by the time they’re 3 years old. Yet, critics think that once the kids are five years old we all need to register with the government if we’re going to continue to teach at home. Most recently, critics assume a homeschool family is more likely to abuse their children.

Our Constitution protects a woman’s right to have an abortion in her first trimester, but people seek to halt parents from educating at home?

Our nation has protected that same right for girls as young as 12 years old without her parents consent, but critics want to make parents follow strict guidelines for teaching math, history, and grammar.

Politicians have created laws that allow strangers to give our children condoms and abortions, but critics want to establish laws to infringe upon a parents decisions to teach their own children how to write, learn multiplication, and study science.

Let’s compare the sides, shall we?

Strangers in Government want to:

Allow children to have surgical procedures on their sexual organs

Permit them to have sex

Give birth control (chemical medicines) to girls

…all WITHOUT a parent’s permission.

And parents want to:

Teach Reading

Teach Math

Teach Science

Teach English/Foreign language

…but critics want to FORCE parents to get government permission to do so.

Odd thing…several of those critics protest about parents consenting to infant boys having a circumcision, but want to force parents to allow their girls to get abortions.

Folks, I’m just shaking my head here. 

Then we need to consider the First Amendment;

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;”

Some religious folks have deeply sacred beliefs about who they let influence their children. They might object to have their children spend non-parental time with certain children and they might object to the political and moral influence some textbooks contain. They also might believe strongly in teaching their religious tenants in conjunction with their academics. Regardless of whether you agree with their views or not, it’s their freedom to exercise their religious convictions without government oversight, approval, or intrusion.

Now lets take a look at the child’s rights, because I do feel this is an important topic. Our children, born in the United States, are also protected by the United States Constitution. Well, within reason anyway.

A commentary on The US Constitution site says,

“Generally speaking, the Constitution applies equally to everyone, regardless of age, color, race, religion, or any other factor. However, minors are a special category of person, and in many cases, the rights of minors can be suppressed in ways that the rights of adults simply may not be.”

The topic of a student (child) rights can be tricky and the most obvious reason is due to their age and ability to be responsible and accountable as equally as an adult can be.

Another commentary on the site goes on to say,

”

There are several reasons why violations of student rights are upheld by the courts. One of the most basic reasons is known as in loco parentis. This Latin phrase basically means that while a student is in the custody of a school, the school can and often should act as a parent. In this duty of the school, many decisions can be made that are outside the normal governmental purview. The other basic reason for violation of student rights has to do with the goal of school — to educate. If an act of a student can interfere with the educational process, that act may, in many cases, be suppressed.

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And it’s the kids who are suffering on both sides of the debate.

Full time parenting is not easy by any means. It’s not even a paying job. Being a full time parent isn’t a 40 hour work week with a medical plan. I’ve read many books on parenting, both religious and non religious. I’ve attended countless seminars on child rearing, child safety classes with the county, and I even took classes on how to get licensed for in-home day care. None of that education could have prepared me for what day to day parenting is really like. Just because a person takes an assortment of accredited courses on child development and child education doesn’t make them a pro. A degree in Child Development doesn’t make you a professional parent. Putting your hands to the task of daily reality with children is the best way to learn how to be a better parent. It takes practice. Many full time parents have more practice than their neighboring parents do, who only parent part time. That doesn’t mean they’re less of a parent, they just share their parenting responsibilities with other people. I would think a public school teacher would say something very similar. Their degrees and class time does not automatically make them a great teacher. It takes years of practice to become “Teacher of the Year”.

In America, we are free to make the choices we feel are best for ourselves and our families. Some folks mess up pretty bad and need intervention, but that doesn’t mean all parents need intervention.

For the past few years, I have worked diligently to understand people with different beliefs. I tend to play ‘devil’s advocate’ so I can see where people are coming from. Just trying to put the shoe on the other foot. I lived 15 years steeped in a twisted for of fundamentalism, then left it for various reasons, one of which is the blatant lack of support for our Constitutional rights. Yes, ironic isn’t it? Some fundamentalists are shouting for protection of their view on the Constitution, but if you want to exercise YOUR freedom of speech in THEIR community, they won’t have it. You’ll eventually be bullied into submission to their view or bullied out of their communities.

Sadly, some groups have twisted the passages of the bible into a weapon against children and demand their ‘freedom of religion’ to practice their parenting teachings with their children. This is how abuse gets covered up in a religious setting. So when I read the opinions of outraged former homeschoolers demanding for stricter standards for Christian Homeschoolers, I get it. I understand their anger. However, some of their cliches are just as absurd as some fundamentalist cliches are. I wonder if they’ve noticed.

Critics: “Homeschoolers are more likely to abuse, because they’re alone all day with their kids. They should be regulated by the government.”

So what about those critics when their public schooled kids are home all summer?

Shall we say :
“Parents of public schooled children are more likely to neglect (that’s abuse) their kids all summer, because they’re gone at work and not all families can afford summer camp. They should be regulated by the government.”

Both statements assume the parents are guilty and seek to control them as if they’re already criminals.

Critics:
“Homeschool parents shouldn’t be allowed to teach their kids without first having a degree in education. Put the kids in public school until the parent can get a degree.”

Shall we say:
“Public school parents shouldn’t be allowed to be parents without a child development degree. Have CPS take their kids until they’re done getting their degrees. Then they can have their kids back.”

Both statements assume that parents should not have children unless they have degrees from a college.

You see, when you insist on a law to be targeted to one group, that’s discrimination. You also have to keep in mind that whatever laws are passed will set a  precedence from which all new laws are created and supported. If you force one set of parents to comply then you have to enforce that ALL parents comply.

When you pass a law that demands the government to be the all-seeing-eye and “approval giver” on parents then you’re giving them the precedence to become owners of your  children. Children are NOT property. They are human beings protected by our Constitution.

Many critics are former fundamentalists and I don’t think they realize how much they sound like their former pastors. They go around dictating how to be parents, what to believe, and how to live life. I’m all for wise and good advice on becoming better individuals and parents, but my freedom should not be infringed upon by zealous law givers. I don’t need, nor do I want, former fundamentalists coming at me like little cult pastors trying to tell me how to live and take my freedom from me. I’m sick to death of religious people claiming everyone else is stupid godless sinners and they’re the elite and enlighten all-superior thinkers. I’m also nauseated by how many former homeschoolers think homeschool parents are abusive simple minded idiots who need the government to do our thinking for us.

At the same time, I understand their frustration about children being abused. BUT, we can’t treat parents as if they’re criminals in need of ankle bracelets.

Families are sovereign. The state is required to protect our individual sovereignty.

Lets turn their criticisms around on them and see what they think.

“You can’t be allowed to feed your kids unless you have a medical degree of some kind. You should go to college and get a degree in health and nutrition before you feed your kids. You need government regulation to make sure you don’t starve your kids to death or over feed them and cause obesity.”

“You can’t have sex unless you have a license first. You should be required by the government to have a degree in child development just in case you (girls) or your girlfriend gets pregnant. Because if you have a kid, you’ll need a degree in parenting and nutrition.”

“Public school children are with their parents all day, every summer. Those parents need regulation. They aren’t used to being with kids all day every day, they are more likely to become impatient and beat their kids, or neglect them by leaving them home unsupervised. Domestic violence stats rise when the weather gets hot. How do we know those parents, who lack experience being with kids all day, will not abuse or neglect their kids? They should register with the state and sign an affidavit to let the state know how they plan to occupy their kids all summer.”

“Any parent of a public schooled child needs to have a weekly CPS worker come by and check up on them to make sure they aren’t beating their kids or neglecting them all summer. Complete with strip searches for the kids to make sure they don’t have bruises.”

Oh what a tangled web we weave. Control, control, control. Not to mention the idea that you’re creating a victim mentality in children.

You see, homeschooling is full time parenting. So you’re either a full time parent or a part time parent who shares parenting responsibilities with public school officials. When you share parenting responsibilities with strangers, then they need government oversight to be sure those people are respecting your children. It’s your CHOICE to co-op with them in parenting your kids. Homeschoolers choose to parent their kids full time. Just for the record, I’m not saying one is better than another.

When you begin sharing your children with teachers, those teachers are with your kids 8 hours a day all school year long. It’s no wonder some of them assume that they are better parents than you are. After all, they have a degree in child development and education and you don’t. If they see a child struggling socially or if their grades start dropping, they often assume the problem is at home. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes it’s in the hallway between classes or on the street when they walk home. But how would it feel if YOU were suspected as a criminal any time your kid had a bad day at school? Now all of a sudden YOU get a CPS visit when you didn’t need it. Your kid is now on a watch list at school, which means you’re on a watch list too. The real culprit who needs to be on the watch list is in the hallway or on the street when neither you nor a teacher is even around.

My point is really this…you can’t treat people as if they’re criminals when there is no evidence. This chaotic-paranoia-suspicion mentality  has been plaguing humanity for AGES and perpetuated by systems and organizations from government to churches. Our society is being pulled apart at the seams. People are suspect of one another and it creates an Us vs. Them society which can only lead to a total break down.

What we need is real community where people are willing to trust each other and work together for the common good of all. What we need is a whole lot of good Samaritans to love those in need and assist when we can and when it’s needed. The public schools have PLENTY going on to keep their hands full as it is. I don’t oppose them. I’m not out to shut them all down. While they do have some bad teachers who need to be weeded out (or helped to improve), they do have some excellent teachers that need our support. Likewise, although their are some abusive families claiming to be homeschoolers, there are many good families who really are educating their kids and they also need our support.

“But the homeschool community isn’t doing a good enough job at policing themselves.”

Well we could say the same about public schools. That’s not deflecting, it’s the truth.

If we continue to push against each other then we’re still a part of the problem. The Us vs. Them mentality will keep breaking down our society and weaken our nation as a whole. Just as getting a degree in Child Development doesn’t make you a professional parent, getting a degree in education does’t make you a professional teacher. I’ve known plenty of “teachers” who were total flops at teaching and they make the rest of their community of teachers look bad. I’ve also seen enough “homeschoolers” who were total flops at raising their children and they make the rest of their community look bad too. We could argue all day about which community has the worst leaders, but that doesn’t really solve anything. It causes more paranoia, less trust, and perpetuates more fear.

Living in fear is no way to live. Homeschool families should not have to live in fear of CPS or public schools. CPS and public school should not have to fear that homeschoolers will shut down their jobs. Wouldn’t it be so awesome if CPS didn’t need to exist? But sadly, many children and families do need their intervention. Wouldn’t it be great if all parents could successfully educate their own kids and let the teachers get better paying jobs? Sadly, not all parents should homeschool and so public school teachers are needed. Our society needs all of us to work together, to collaborate, and to support each other. This is what we need for GROWTH in this nation.

This is what our children need for their own growth and safety. They need a community who works together to give them the best chance to become successful, to be safe, and to build a better nation for future generations. I’m tired of writing about child abuse. Shouldn’t we all be striving to be better parents no matter what education style we choose for our kids? Shouldn’t we all be striving to be better people in general?

Can’t we do a better job as Americans so our government officials can handle the really tough situations?

If we can’t even manage our own homes and schools then how will our nation ever have a chance to move forward?

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“All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing.” Edmund Burke

If humanity had remained silent all these years, we’d be stuck in prehistoric mentality. Making our voices heard certainly can bring out the opposition, but it can also make huge changes for humanity as we propel ourselves into a better future.

It’s sad that when we MUST talk about such an important topic as child abuse, that we would get critics from within the Christian Homeschool community. They should be the FIRST to speak up when it’s happening in their own ‘back yards’. I’m not talking about smearing one another’s names through back yard gossip over the fence line while sipping your mochas with neighbors. I’m not talking about indulging in self righteous jibber jabber about how  Suzie Republican Homeschooler lost her temper at the park  when Sharon Democrat-Homeschooler spoke in favor of universal healthcare. I’m talking about how urgent it is that Janice Homeschooler reach out to Julie Homeschooler when she sees Julie smacking her 3 year old son in a fit of rage because he accidentally spilled his grape juice on her white culottes. I’m talking about Mr. Stevens-Homeschooler having a man to man talk with Mr. Jones-Homeschooler when he notices Mr. Jones publicly berating his wife when she refuses to smack her little girl for picking her boogers.

Some parents feel that if they speak up, they’d be intruding in a family’s private matters. So they assume they are being polite by looking the other way.

Is it polite to let a child or wife be abused?

If you don’t know how to wisely intervene, then find out how to!

Find out what your community resources are for battered women and children. Go to their group meetings and talk to the counselor in charge. Let them know you are there to gain wisdom and discover resources available so you can help your friends. Ask LOTS of questions. Become a better friend by equipping yourself with the knowledge that can help transform a family.

But for goodness sake, don’t remain silent.

If you have a blog, say something!

You may not like that some of the bloggers throwing a fit about this are atheists, but should it matter what a person’s belief system is when they’re shouting from the roof tops about child abuse? We should be on the rooftops with them!

There SHOULD be more Christian Homeschoolers blogging about abuse in the homeschool community than any other bloggers. It should be US who throw a fit about how it’s being hidden under the homeschool label. It’s not “evil propaganda” when a nonChristian speaks up about abuse. If it bothers you that much then YOU be the louder voice and start blogging about how your community plans to help families in need.

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Homeschooling is not best for kids …

• whose parents blindly follow conspiracy theories.
• whose parents live in fear of everyone outside their own group.
• whose parents have anger problems.
• whose parents don’t think they have what it takes to home educate.
• whose parents can’t stand to be with their kids all day.
• whose parents spank for every infraction.
• whose parents lack grace.
• whose parents threaten their kids with CPS if they don’t do as their told.
• whose parents threaten their kids with after-life punishments.
• whose parents are threatening.
• whose parents lack patience.
• whose parents are pressured into homeschooling by other leaders.

The list could go on and on.

I’ve seen the arguments around the Internet and quite honestly, some arguments make me want to bang my head on a wall.

“Parents shouldn’t be allowed to teach their own kids.”

So people can have sex and give birth to children, but they can’t teach their kids reading, math, or history? I don’t think people realize how asinine their arguments are.

“Parents should only homeschool if they have a degree.”

But people can have sex and give birth to babies without a parenting degree.

*shakes head*

If you’re going to make an argument about education and parenting, then get better at expressing your perspective. These statements aren’t helping anyone and they just make you look ridiculous.

Most homeschool parents were educated in the public school system. If these parents don’t have what it takes to teach the very subjects they learned in public school for 13 years, then God help the public school system! And you want their kids to attend the same schools their parents did?

But lets move the conversation to the hot topic of the week; children who suffer abuse in the homeschool environment.

If your leaders are pressuring you to homeschool out of some religious idea that only parents should educate their children, then don’t you dare bring your kids home!

You may not be the best teacher for your kids. Just because you’re a parent doesn’t mean you’re the right teacher for them.

Leaders, stop pressuring people to homeschool! You don’t know every family out there who is listening to your teaching. You don’t know which parents are abusive, mentally ill, or narcissistic. You should NOT be telling parents that they alone are the best teachers for their kids. You don’t know them!

Making the choice to home educate is a deeply serious decision that should never be taken lightly. If a parent is considering it, then they need to look into what it takes before they make their decision. Just because HSLDA says you have “parental rights to choose your child’s education”, doesn’t mean all parents are making their choice from a wise place.

Parents should look at ALL their options and research each and every option available to them. They should ask themselves if home educating is best for their child and if it’s best for themselves. Parents who hide in the “homeschool” community so they can continue to be abusive are NOT home educating. They are NOT homeschooling. They are abusing, period! Oh their kids might learn to read, write, and do simple math…but lots of kids who suffer abuse can read, write, and do math. Homeschooling is SO MUCH MORE than reading, writing, and doing math.

In fact, so called ‘homeschoolers’ who are hiding abuse aren’t REALLY a part of the homeschool community. They’re just trying to blend in by using the lingo. Of the homeschool abuse I’ve read about, those families lived highly isolated lives. A COMMUNITY isn’t isolated. Isolation and community are in opposition to one another. Isolated homeschoolers might make some public appearances so they are seen, but still live extremely private lives.

I’ve tried playing ‘devil’s advocate’ in understanding such an isolated life and I just don’t see how that can be healthy for anyone, let alone a child.

Home educating should be safe for kids. It should be preparing them for the world they will step into when they are an adult. Better yet, it should be preparing them to merge into this world. But if your idea of homeschool is about locking your kid away from the world out of fear, then homeschooling isn’t the best option for you. I’m not saying it can’t be at some point, but you may need to get help for yourself before you bring the kids home.

Learn all you can about home education. Learn about how hard it is, how much dedication it takes, how much of your life it’s going to take. In the mean time, be AS INVOLVED AS POSSIBLE with your child’s public education. Meet with teachers and ask lots of questions. It’s rare that a parent wants to spend that kind of time with a teacher so when those teachers meet a parent like that, they love it. Volunteer in the school, grade papers, read the books the kids are reading. Look at their papers, read their book reports, study their math papers and see where they’re struggling. You might find that keeping them in public school and being active in their school is better for you and for your child, than homeschooling would be.

Homeschooling isn’t best for all kids, especially not for kids whose parents are abusive. Since we don’t always know who is abusive, don’t advise people that “homeschooling is best for all kids”.

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I’m a bit different than some of my peers who want state regulation over home education and parenting. I’m also quite opinionated about how some Christians and Homeschoolers interpret the Constitution as well as the Bible. We should NEVER use the Bible to promote child abuse nor should we use it to dismiss abusive parents.

I’m an advocate for our freedom while being responsible for that freedom. Some parents violate that freedom when they violate their children’s freedom to be in a safe and secure environment. Children are the most vulnerable of our human species and deserve our protection.

I’m the kind of person that points to myself first before trying to point at some other parent so when it comes to me stepping up for another kid I keep in mind that I’m not a perfect parent either. I’m not trying to be a nosy busybody who is wanting to send a government official into every child’s home and interrogate a parent and insist they need government oversight into their home. At the same time, I think we could do a lot better job of being a good neighbor and a compassionate human being when it comes to kids.

The recent drama surrounding the HSLDA and the abuse of children has spawned a lot of conversation…much needed conversation. It’s also brought out a lot of angry, hurt, and suspicious people who want to send big brother into the mess to ‘set parents straight” and force them to be regulated by the government’s already volatile school system.

What’s a happy and reasonable medium so kids have the protection they need?

After knowing too many children who have suffered abuse in both churches and isolated homeschools, I’ve debated the pros and cons of state regulation. I’ve been discussing Constitutional freedom as well, and I think I have an idea for a good start.

I think communities need to be cooperating together with local professionals to make sure we ALL have the resources available to us so we can ALL be better parents.

So with that in mind, here are my recommendations to churches and homeschool co ops.

1. Pastors, church leaders, Nursery Directors, and Sunday School teachers should be fully trained as mandatory reporters. I don’t buy into the idea that pastors should be exempt so people can confess without being turned in. I think that’s hogwash.

2. Homeschool Co Ops should have their leaders be fully trained mandatory reporters as well.

3. Churches and Homeschool Co Ops should help coordinate with local authorities to provide low cost or free seminars for ALL parents where local professionals can come in and teach what is abuse and how to get help.

4. Offer support groups for anger management classes. If your church doesn’t already have a certified anger management counselor on staff, get someone certified or hire an outside counselor for classes.

5. Offer low cost or free child care during the classes. Be sure your child care workers are finger print approved by the FBI. You can get them to your local police department for a finger print  and background check.

I don’t think pastors or homeschool leaders should attempt to do this on their own without professionals, because often times organization leaders will use loop holes to protect their organization’s image rather than to be truly on the side of the children.

Being a mandatory reporter doesn’t mean you have a full powered license to report people in an abusive manner. Some states have legal penalties for people who file false reports. So there’s no need to be afraid of them or of becoming one. The key is to be responsible.  You’re not going to be pressured to scrutinize every parent you come in contact with. Being trained to recognize abuse is good training. You can have resources at your disposal to offer to families in need.

If we were more professional and pro-active in helping to protect children (and report properly and only when necessary), then we could help so many more children than we realize. When we cooperate with our local professional leaders, we wouldn’t need so many “big brother’” types trying to cram more government control on us.

We must be more responsible and we must do better to assist families in need.

Freedom comes with great responsibility.

Your thoughts?

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I consider myself a person of faith and I educate my children from home. I’m not always vocal about being a “Christian”. I don’t like the label, honestly. I like Christ..in fact, I love Christ. I just don’t like what the masses have done to his name and image. It’s not the ‘secular’ world’s fault Christianity has garnered a bad reputation. It’s the self righteous Pharisees who have done that all on their own. It’s several clergy who have covered up for child molestors, pastors who silence women while their husbands beat their kids to death, it’s stories like these that get Christianity a bad name. So please don’t read this article with the idea that only non Christians accuse Christians of foul play. This blog post is not propaganda to destroy homeschool freedom or Christianity, nor to promote an ideology that is contrary to the walk of faith in Christ. This is one person of faith in Christ who is blowing a trumpet.

Sadly, not enough Christians have put their feet down about it either, all in their effort to “protect God” and their churches. But their so called protection of their God and church’s image has actually brought more harm than good. When crimes against humanity, especially women and children, are committed under the Christian label, then it should be the Christians who cry “FOUL!” It should be Christians who strip the rug from the garbage being swept under it and demand proper justice.

Trying to hide abuse in the name of “protecting an image” is furthering the abuse. 

We are called to be champions for children. We are to uphold the incredible responsibility to protect children and women. Sadly, many pastors teach that women and children are not equal for protection. They are silenced into submission even when it’s to an abusive husband or father. They are taught to never say a negative word, but to instead remain silent in prayer in hopes that God will change him before the next time they get hit.

Many families don’t get the help they need, because they are taught to “fake it til they make it”.

Women, sisters…I’m going to speak up now about YOU. I know it’s incredibly scary to put your feet down with an abusive husband.  I know because I’ve lived it! My husband and I have, thankfully, gotten help for the spiraling troubles we experienced when we first got married. I was just 19 years old when we got married. We had our first child that first year and struggled in many ways. My husband was a meth addict. He struggled between being clean and indulging in drugs when times got rough. Then we had a blow up evening…and *I* called the police. Yes, it was scary. It was one of the scariest and bravest things I’ve ever done. I wasn’t working. I had no money of my own. I had no family in town. I was alone with a small child. Making that phone call was one of the best decisions I had ever made in my life.

It started a very long journey of having the local authorities involved in our lives. Court appearance after court appearance and lots of court fees. We went through a few times of separation and years of being on welfare. Two bankruptcies  We never felt well provided for with welfare..in fact..it barely met the cost of rent. I’ve spent MONTHS bending over a bathtub, washing our clothes with dollar store detergent and hanging them to dry from hangers hung throughout our tiny apartment. Using food stamps rarely fed us thoroughly each month. I often rode the city bus with our children to stand in long lines waiting for a box of food.

We struggled for six years.

Those six years went by. Two more children were born. Thankfully, our children were never in physical harm’s way. I am eternally grateful that my husband never harmed them. But I never knew how he would respond when he was in his addiction or while going through withdrawals because he didn’t have the cash to get his drugs. I sheltered our children from his anger, I would take them to the park on the days I knew he was volatile. He attended his court appointed classes for addiction and domestic violence, but he continued to spiral.

I was told by religious leaders to “submit and be a good wife” and that God would “change him” for me. Time and time again, I tried that. He continued in his addiction. I couldn’t stay silent. and I didn’t. I spoke up. I put my foot down.

I am so glad I did!

He finally got into a year long, live-in, program. It was that or go to prison for violating his court appointed classes. During his year in treatment, we had time to heal.

Staying in a home where you walk on egg shells just in hopes of helping your husband not have a blow up is NOT a good way to live and certainly not what God expects of us.

I was often told that I was a rebellious wife, by church folks. Some women were appalled that I would be so vocal with my husband, but they didn’t know about everything we’ve been through.

After treatment, my husband gave his life over to helping other men get help. He furthered his education in addiction/recovery counseling, completed his 2 year biblical studies course, served faithfully in church and in the rehab mission he graduated from. God had truly changed his life, but GOD used me and our local courts to get him the help he desperately needed. Help, our whole family desperately needed.

Women,

When you stay silent and suffer alone, you are enabling the abuse to continue. I know it’s scary. I know the fears you face. You CAN get help and you MUST get help.

Now I need to bring this even closer to home.. the homeschool community.

Tragically, many homeschool families live in fear of their government, CPS, and on top of that they fear their husbands. Even worse when their pastors advise them to “submit and obey in hopes that God will change him through your obedience”. You might feel like you have nowhere to go for real help. Perhaps a neighbor makes a phone call and CPS shows up at your door. So you call the HSLDA and they go to bat for your “right to homeschool” in order to get CPS out of your home, but now your abusive husband is protected and you are stuck in a dangerous situation that is festering (<<read Anne’s childhood story).

I know CPS doesn’t have the best reputation, but not all CPS offices and staff are zealous child thieves. Not all government authorities are anti-god looking to destroy Christianity. Not all pastors will assist abusive husbands by silencing the wives and children. And not all homeschools are suspect for abuse. There are good people in the world who want to help you and your children. There are compassionate people in your community that want to help your husband. There are people you can trust to help your family heal and not be torn apart. But if you don’t get help, abuse will tear your lives apart even worse.

I’ll be honest though, the road is long and arduous. It’s not easy. There is suffering during the healing process. It’s a lot of hard work, but it’s worth it!

As a person of faith in Christ and as a homeschooler, I plead with you all…we need to do better in the Christian community and in the homeschool community. We don’t need another Lydia Schatz to lose her life. We don’t need special needs children being abused. We don’t need little girls being violated at home by her father or by a youth pastor at church. We MUST do better.

There are women and children who need to be able to trust that we’ll be there for them when they are transparent about their needs. We need the local authorities and clergy to cooperate TOGETHER to help families. Allowing a pastor to be the only one in the home to help IS NOT going to be enough. If you’re living in fear of being hit or that your children are being hit, you need help. If you know someone who is suffering abuse, YOU need to help them get help. Walk them through the process. BE THERE for them through the WHOLE journey!

The HSLDA is under fire again and I know many are claiming the accusations against them are false. However, if we are going to support the freedom to homeschool, we ALSO MUST defend the freedom of children to have  SAFE homeschool. Oh it’s easy to cry “FOUL!” when public school kids are abused, kidnapped by a bus driver, raped, molested, or beat up by their class bully. But when it happens IN OUR COMMUNITY, we CAN NOT cover that up. When former homeschool children grow up and testify of the abuse they endured, we need to listen up.

I have been a financial supporter of HSLDA for many years now and I am asking that they become more transparent with how they practice law, how they defend homeschooling, AND how they protect children in a homeschool that is abusive.

I know children are abused in a variety of types of homes. From poor to wealthy, from Christian to atheist, from public school to homeschools. Abuse happens. It’s tragic! We can’t only speak up about abuse when it happens in a public school. We have to speak up no matter where it happens. And we have to learn how NOT to respond to abuse allegations in the homeschool community.

Defending our freedom to choose our child’s education should NEVER trump their freedom to live in a healthy and safe environment.

To the HSLDA,

As a supporter of yours, I am asking for you to clarify your mission to defend homeschool freedom. I am asking that you inform us and SHOW US how you are defending this freedom WHILE defending children in an abusive homeschool environment. HOW do you separate the defense to protect homeschool freedom WHILE NOT enabling abusive parents to further their abuse under your “protection”? HOW are YOU holding abusive parents accountable? HOW are YOU cooperating with local authorities to HELP victims?

We must do better. We must speak up.

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I’ve had to battle through twisted teachings that claim there ‘must be’ some kind of unrepentant sin in my life, because a ‘real Christian’ doesn’t experience anxiety. Advice for overcoming anxiety included rigid church attendance, faithful ministry service, daily bible reading, and memorizing passages from the bible. But what happens when you follow the bible prescriptions and anxiety still haunts you?

A spiritual crisis falls over me like a dark shadow and many nights of crying myself to sleep, wondering if I was truly redeemed as the scriptures claim. Has God deafened his ears toward me? Is he punishing me for something I’m not doing right? What am I missing? If I can’t live up to the prescribed path, am I doomed to suffer?

The Spirit whispers gently and assures me that Jesus already reconciled me to God and that part of my journey is to apply faith. Managing anxiety requires that I walk by faith and make a conscious effort to banish it from my life. I needed to work out my own salvation from anxiety. He is with me, but he reminds me that I am called to be an active participant in this faith walk. He has given me the power to snap out of this darkness and if he were to snap it out of existence for me, then I would miss out on the opportunity to exercise the power he has placed in me.

Realizing that this walk, this journey, isn’t about him making every path picture perfect for me. Life has issues, we all have dysfunction. He has called me to be an active part of my own solution.

In my psychology studies, I learned that making a physical effort in conjunction with my mental effort for overcoming, makes a huge difference. Adding my spiritual effort makes it all the more powerful.

I created a sacred space in my room for my spiritual practice.

One dresser top has been cleared off and carefully created to contain some special items to aid me in my journey. My space has symbols and reminders of the power he has given me. I have photos of my four children, my happy thoughts. Along with them is a candle, 3 types of rocks, a 3×5 card, a gift from my oldest daughter, a gift from my father (God rest his soul), A treasure box with 2 engraved stones, and gems and gold I got while panning with my children in a Northern California river. I don’t place my faith in these items. I don’t claim these items have power on their ow. I use them as reminders of the power that rests within me.

Faith requires a mental decision along with a physical action. As I light my candle, it is a physical way for me to start my day with faith plus action. It’s my little ‘green light’ to go into my day with faith. I look at my happy thoughts and give thanks for them. My engraved stones have the words ‘love’ and ‘believe’ to remind me that life is full of love and to believe in the power of that love. My rocks are calcite; green, orange, and blue. My green calcite is a symbol of mental health and for clearing away negative thoughts. I remind myself of this, verbally, that I am going to make effort to resist negative thoughts. The orange calcite is for mental and emotional equilibrium. There have been days when I would shut off my emotions to avoid the feelings that overwhelm me, but shutting off emotions can be harmful. So my affirmation is to allow emotions, but in balance. The orange calcite also reminds me that I have the power to banish depression and fear. My blue calcite is my symbol of strengthening communication and thoughts. To enlighten discussions and ease tension in communication. I then make the conscious effort to navigate my day with these in mind. For example; avoiding television programs that promotes fear, watching too much news, avoiding toxic people, and being careful with my own words.

My gems and gold serve as a reminder that He is my provider and to be thankful for all that he has provided me with in my life and for all that will come. Throughout the day, I give thanks for each provision from the newly bloomed rose to the rain that refreshes the earth to the giggles of my children as they enjoy their day.

These items can be viewed as a placebo, but I view them more as reminders. I am reminded that His power rests within me and I can access his power by making a mental, physical, and spiritual effort in my day. I don’t have to sit back, suffer, and wonder when he’s going to come through for me. He grants me the freedom and power to be a participant.

The more I practice my spirituality, the stronger I become. Any time anxiety tries to knock me down, I can visualize my practice and speak my affirmations aloud. Isn’t this just magic? I know David spoke, wrote, and sang about his faith. I know prophets spoke about encircling a camp a specific number of times, blowing trumpets, and sending out the singers ahead of battles. Daniel knelt in prayer by the same window three times a day and Jonah gave a spiritual sacrifice in the belly of a large fish at the bottom of the sea. Even the priests burned incense. Participating in a spiritual practice can be powerful to the practitioner when they apply physical actions with their faith. It’s not needed, really. God’s power is already within us, but when I’m feeling weakened, there’s no harm at all in getting back to some basics in using a physical routine to get me back on track.

I was also recently blessed with winning a drawing when Sarah hosted the InCourage inRL event at her home. The items I won have been hung on the walls in my home, giving even more reminders of God’s love and provision. Items provided by Red Letter Words and DaySpring contain beautiful affirmations of God’s love and blessings.

Any artistic expression of my faith, adorning our abodes, can serve as reminders of this participatory journey I have with God. I can recite memory verses, sing worship songs, or wear a symbolic piece of jewelry each day to keep myself mindful of just how powerful I am. Whatever works for me.

One thing that I’m not fond of is empty rituals. So when my routine becomes mundane, I start over with a fresh routine. The most important thing is the heart, not the routine. The routine is simply symbolic. I might redecorate my sacred space as needed or gear it around the holidays. Keeping it fresh can keep my spiritual practice vibrant and lively. This is how I’ve been managing my anxiety.

*disclaimer: none of these links are affiliates and I’m not being compensated for mentioning them. I just happen to like the products they offer.

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Everyone has issues. Some are just more obvious than others.

I also like that the script shines a light on judging. We all judge each other’s issues. Christians are especially good at this as they spend so much time analyzing who has worse issues and who has issues so bad that they need to be excommunicated.

This doesn’t just happen among Christianity, it happens to everyone no matter what their religious beliefs are. However, Christianity is the one belief system that claims that God is the judge. So it seems that Christians should be the least judgmental.

It’s just a part of the dysfunction we all experience.

Life is downright messy and chaotic. This experience called life is full of twists, turns, surprises, humor, drama, and romance.

Can we grow and become better at loving each other no matter what our issues are?

We’re either claustrophobic, OCD, bi-polar, over sexualized, over weight, anorexic, Autistic, crude, loud, introvert, or any number of other dysfunctions.

It’s called being human.

We don’t live the fairy tale. Life isn’t perfectly scripted with thorn-less roses at every turn. Being human doesn’t promise that we’ll have plenty of money or relationships that all work hard at putting others before themselves.

And Christians aren’t immune to this ebb and flow of the world either.

Unfortunate things happen to good people and amazing things happen for people who are making other lives miserable.

The grouchiest of people can have a never ending bank balance and the happiest of people can be living on donations and unemployed.

Life is hard, but we don’t have to be hard on each other.

Can’t we just put down our weapons; whether they’re swords, guns, or even our words?

We can help put a smile on someone’s face, hug someone warmly, and invite someone over for a hot meal.

Life is short, beautiful, crazy, and surprising so why not live our lives on the positive side?

We all have our issues.

I have my own, and I’m willing to bet you do too.

p.s. Watch ‘Silver Linings Playbook’.

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Breathing deeply and slowly, I closed my eyes. Listening to the breeze and songs of sea gulls, I heard the Spirit speaking. I opened my eyes and admired the beauty of my garden. Pondering the work I put into my garden and how it delights me to see each plant bringing forth new life, these words came whispering to my soul…

“Every tiny new thing is beautiful and important. Nothing small has less importance than what is big. To the Spirit, everything is big and important. Some of the wee smallest things can be the greatest in power. Each flower has its time to bloom and to wither, but always bears seeds to be planted.”

Is this, in my life, a passing blossom or the plant that reproduces? Is it time for this to fade or to re-bloom again and again?

“Express gratitude for its purpose and for the beauty it possesses. Share the abundance of beauty that it contains and show your love for its creations.”

It’s not easy to accept some seasons in life. But each has it’s purpose. I’ve gone through a season of rest. Can I be entering another Spring? Can I have endurance and patience as I await each blossom to parade in the garden? May I not bloom too quickly, lest my petals lose strength and fall to their death. I long to be the iridescence of the white rose before me and blushing young and pink as it’s buds. I desire to be plump and moist as the aloe, offering healing to others. I want to be drought resistant like the cacti and geranium.

“Even the tiniest of white blooms of alyssum bring me joy each day. Nothing is insignificant to me.”

Gardener, smile upon my newest green shoots. Giggle at my little blossoms, show me that I bring you joy just as I am. For all that I’ll ever be. Give me cool days to be refreshed by after the sun has been hot. Grant me the warmth of your sun when the wind has been cold. You know what I need, but please grant me reprieve when I burn and when I shiver. Comfort me, yet help me grow stronger and more enduring.

Let my colors be vibrant, not dull. May my thorns be sharp to protect, may my leaves outstretched to breathe in life and nourishment from the rays of your sun. When the aphids come, send me lady bugs to feast and protect me. May my pollen attract the busy bees and lace their legs with a dusting of gold to share with others.

Bless their hard work with delicious honey for us all to indulge in. Give us temperance to not eat more than our fill, lest we get ill. Let it be for the enjoyment of its taste and to heal many ails.

Plant me where I will bloom the best. Put me where I am complimented and where I compliment others.

When the breeze and birds come hither to my green branches, may they take my seeds and scatter them afar so life can begin again. So beauty can reign on the earth. Let my leaves and seeds be used to heal, to calm, to be mixed with oil and be a salve. Use every part of me for good. May I never be discontented with your work, for I know each season has its place in my life.

“Every death will bring new life. Even the earth teaches you this. Always turning, the sun stays constant. The stars always shine and the moon has her times.”

Thank you for creation and how Spirit speaks to me through her. Thank you for garden meditations.

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