Prayers, Magic, and Positive Thoughts

In the midst of having such an exuberant week, looking towards great possibilities for our future, a phone call came in. Not the kind of phone call I thought I’d get..especially from this specific person. With the phone to my ear, I was vomited all over by hate filled words of anger and sly threats to ‘not ruin’ my husband with a phone call.

Sigh**

He may not even realize how hurtful his words were to me. He probably doesn’t even realize how abusive and manipulating he was.

I am quite certain he didn’t expect to hear what I had to say about it all…

“I’m hanging up now.”

*click*

I don’t enable bullies.

I’m done with being bullied.

I do consider myself a Christian, but I’m not a doormat. I’ll help whoever I can if they can be willing to work on changing their lives and we can walk together…but I’m not going to be a baby sitter.

What came next was far more painful…other people calling…who had already gotten an ear full from this man…and they believed him. They had their minds made up before calling me.

I had to spend several hours on the phone with people I deeply love, convincing them of the truth and pleading with them to consider my character. Let my character tell you that I’m innocent of the accusations.

Why is it so easy for people to swallow lies and accuse innocent people?

Do they want to believe the worst about me and my husband?

We’re not perfect people by any means. If someone wanted to accuse us of something, at least pick our real faults and not false faults.

So in the middle of my hope for our future, preparing my home for a move, and looking forward to a new start, I get this…I feel like I’ve been dumped on..I cried all day…trying to clean up the negative emotional vomit that covered me, picking out the chunks of hate from my hair.

How much more rejection do I need to suffer through?

I’m not Jesus. I can’t carry the weight of the world and the emotional unhealthy mental instability of those around me.

I can point to some resources, I can offer an encouraging word or two…but only those who are willing to receive it will benefit from it.

And so it is with great pain that I have to put up yet another boundary…to avoid mental and emotional vampires. I don’t need my positive energy ripped from me.

Over the next couple of months.. I’ll let the machine collect the calls. I emptied my email inbox and will create a new email..and not give it to negative hurtful people. I will be limiting access to my Facebook discussions.

And as much as I hate to be negative, I can’t help but to think they will be offended at my decisions and blame me further…instead of understanding how I feel..how hurt I am..and giving me the space I need to heal.

We need this move, we need this change, we need this new beginning. Please pray for us. Light a candle. Cross your fingers or rub the Rabbit’s foot for us. Whatever positive energy you are willing to send our way..we need some magic, my friends. Lots of it.

Open doors with provision.

A new community of love.

Opportunities to connect in humanitarian venues.

Working in a professional atmosphere.

Avoiding condemnation.

Healing for hearts and spirits.

Unity in family.

Forgetting the past and pressing into the future.

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