When Christians Lead You Down the Wrong Path

Yesterday, I heard about Megan and Grace’s departure from the Westboro Baptist Church. I too, was of the mindset that “I had all the right answers” and in my own righteousness self righteousness, I hurt a lot of people. I really thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was an agent of the Lord. I thought the message I was repeating was His. As it turned out, it wasn’t. I had my own ‘Saul on the road to Damascus experience’ and he knocked me off my high horse.

NOLA2009-6 by agbayliss, on Pix-O-Sphere
free photo source at Pix-O-Sphere | photo credit Amy Bayliss

The problem was that I was repeating what I was told was the truth, instead of going directly to God to get the truth. Some how I had gotten seriously sidetracked into forsaking the working of the Holy Spirit. I had unknowingly shoved him aside and put a religious leader in his place. Downward I spiraled into a black hole of death.

I thank God he found me (even though he knew where I was all along). I just didn’t know where I was. As he set my feet upon the Rock, he gave me time to rub my eyes and look around me. He revealed to me the damage I had caused in my blindness. The path of destruction I had left and the enslaved lives of those I affected. He shone his Light on two women I had misunderstood, women I had hurt, and I knew I needed to humble myself and seek reconciliation.

I’m thankful for God allowing them to be the first ones I needed to make amends with. Amy Bayliss (along with the other Amy) showed me what real-life-grace really is. They were not only forgiving, merciful, and kind, but they lavished me with love and support when they could have kicked me to the curb for being such a jerk. So when Amy says “Be sure you’re following the right Shepherd“, I pay attention. She knows what she’s talking about.

“Be careful what you are believing from the pulpit. Be careful what you are “liking” on Facebook. Be careful who you are promoting and sharing. Whether they are a good friend or not. It doesn’t matter. People are human. We make mistakes. We go through seasons in life, good and bad. When others blindly follow us in our mistakes it can have eternal consequences.” ~Amy Bayliss

I’ve been one of those who blindly followed someone’s teachings. I know where it leads. It’s not good. Amy went on to say,

“In this day and age we have too many people telling us what to think instead of how to think” ~Amy Bayliss

That’s how it works. We become arrogant in our beliefs and begin telling other people what to think and what to believe. Of those who don’t agree with us, we condemn. We shun them, ‘rebuke’ them, and call them enemies. We teach tell them all the things that are wrong about them.

Friends, God isn’t in the business of condemning us. We are pardoned. Not only that, but he has commissioned us to declare to the Gospel. We can so easily become enamored with the Christianeze lifestyle of prettying ourselves up for God, forgetting that our beauty is in Christ. Sometimes it’s the popular Christian mom bloggers who become sidetracked and lead us down that sticky black hole of self righteous works that we eventually become forgetful of the finished work of the cross. We become confused and while thinking we’re making our way up some golden ladder of “best Christian woman”, we’re actually digging ourselves into a bottomless pit.

It’s so easy to become enamored with many “Mrs. Popular Bloggers” and if we aren’t diligent to keep Christ centered, we end up idolizing these women and make them and all their words into a god. We’re all fallible human beings. We all make mistakes. We all carry the same amount of fallibility and could very well mislead each other.

“Iron sharpens iron”. That means we need to allow each other to scrape up against us sometimes. It hurts, but it sharpens us. If our comment sections are filled with “Yes women” then how shall we be sharpened?

Luke 6:26, ““Woe to you, when all people speak well of you, for so their fathers did to the false prophets.” ESV

Tyranny reigns when it goes unchallenged.

Our lives in the kingdom are to be by faith. When one stands in the gates accusing us, they have sided with the enemy. They probably don’t even realize it. By Christ we are declared clean. Not by what we do, but by what he has already done. It’s fine to encourage one another to keep a cleaner home, have some modest fashion sense, or even give us creative ways to keep the romance in a marriage. But we all still make mistakes and shouldn’t allow ourselves to get caught up in the rat race. We’re not to idolize one another.

May we link arm in arm and walk together as we face this life by faith. Lets stop the condemnation and remember what Christ has done. He has set us free.

“Don’t be tangled up again in a yoke of bondage.” ~Apostle Paul

 

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Are we ready for raw?

On Friday I made a leap of faith to join in a community of faith bloggers through Lisa-Jo’s writing prompt, 5 Minute Fridays. I took a deep breath and jumped in..holding it just long enough to get a bit dizzy. Abstract thoughts swirled in my head as my spiritual equilibrium tried to find balance. I’ve been so hurt before..in other communities. I’ve been rejected. It’s not fair of me to hold my breath about each one after that, yet I breathe deep and hold it tighter, hesitating to exhale…bracing myself for the blow of rejection. Could I be reaping what I sowed when I was lost in legalism? Desperately gasping for grace.. Lord, please sustain me as I try again.

I want to make new friends, really I do. Stefanie joined in the writing prompt and spoke descriptive words like raw, authentically, transparent, vulnerability… and I sigh long.

I tried that and it didn’t go very well.

Many are asking for the same things, encouraging each other to be…

r-e-a-l

But are we prepared for real? Have we seriously prepared ourselves through prayer and meditated on what raw would look, sound, or feel like?

Will our responses be seasoned with grace and can our actions stand firmly in faith extending grace to those who trust us with their vulnerability?

In hindsight I can say that I was not warmly embraced in my vulnerability. Most of them walked away. I was jaded by open wounds in my flesh. Open wounds not of their making, but salt has a way of hurting exposed cuts.

Here’s where I would like to open up my frail heart and allow you to see the not nearly-healed scars. I don’t want to drudge up the things that hurt, but rather share what helps to heal..what helps to support one another. If we’re going to be raw, we need to be prepared.

When I (we) share my (our) vulnerability, I (we) need…

Someone to be slow to speak, quick to listen. The words that come out may not make sense at first, that’s why I share them..I need to make sense of them myself. So let me get it all out. Just listen. No need to provide standard cliches, they don’t help anyway. Just smile and affirm that I’m being heard.

Don’t agree. A real friend doesn’t need to be in agreement with everything, in fact I’d prefer that you didn’t. I need the diversity to help me sort through everything. I need the differing perspectives.

Don’t build walls. Even though I need differing perspectives I don’t need walls that shut me out. That doesn’t help. Please stay warm, I need you.

Don’t correct me. I need the freedom to be wounded, sad, or even angry.

Don’t have all the answers. I don’t need you to have all the answers, I just need love. But do you know someone who specializes in these kinds of things? The kinds of rawness I share..that we all share?

flower basket by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere

Do give support, gentle support. It’s okay to say, “I don’t understand..yet, but I would like you to know that I care about you.”

Do confess that it’s hard for you. I find it comforting to know others feel it’s difficult too. It’s difficult to share it, I can understand how it’s difficult to hear it.

Remind me of his grace. I (we) desperately need to be reminded of his life saving grace.

Be patient. (tears flowing) Please be patient while I (we) try to figure things out. Life is a journey of discovery and inquiry while digging deep to understand God. His ways are not our ways so it’s complex to understand.

Hug my soul. No matter what we disagree on, don’t understand, or think is uncomfortable..can you hug my soul?

Be courageous. I know it’s not easy to stand by the side of someone who is thrashing about, especially if you feel helpless about my transparency. Just be there. Send a tweet, “Thinking about ya, Lisa” Drop by my Facebook page.. “like” something to let me know you were there. Please don’t be ashamed of being jesus-with-skin-on to people who hurt. Stand with us.

*deep sigh*

Share links…that you think might encourage me.

So are we really ready, prepared, equipped to hear raw, transparency, vulnerability?

Are we really ready to walk with each other?

Sisterlisa

Linking up with

Ann Voskamp

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When it hurts too much to tell the church

Somewhere along the way we get to this place of comfort and assurance in our Christian lives where people finally accept us without judgment, then a storm comes and we suddenly find ourselves too afraid to come to the church for support. What we all misunderstand from time to time is that we aren’t alone. Our churches are full of people wrestling with this same problem. Add to that the problems we’re already facing and we end up feeling lost, isolated, alone, condemned, defeated, and helpless.

If the churches had a real down to earth confession time we’d see that we aren’t the only ones who are facing very complex issues within our families, neighborhoods, and work places. Everyone is suffering from some kind of issue and it could be within themselves, with a spouse, a child, a sibling of their own, or their own parents.

What we shouldn’t be doing is living in fear of being authentic people. How can friends learn to trust each other with their heartaches?

The short answer is by being people of grace. Yet, this is not as easy as it sounds.

As soon as you let people know you understand complex issues by name, some people automatically assume you agree with those issues. Being an understanding person doesn’t mean you agree with what you’re understanding. To refuse to hear people out and insist you don’t need to understand them is not how you establish your own personal boundary. You only end up closing people off when they need you most.

memories by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere

Christians face adultery, homosexuality, legalism, abuse, addiction, debt, gluttony, anorexia, abortion, and all sorts of other things. Just because Christians belong to a church doesn’t mean they are without their own dysfunction. We’re all fallible.

Some say Jesus came to show us how to be perfect, but I argue that Jesus came to show us how to be human. He didn’t ask us to relate to him, he came in human form to relate to us. Jesus showed us how to be angry, stand up for injustice, how to be in the presence of gluttons, tax collectors, and harlots. He showed us how to love, how to extend grace, and how to cry. He didn’t puff himself up as an idol to say, “Look at me, I’m so perfect. You need to be just like me, perfect in every way.” Not at all. He came to show us that we are just as we were created to be, human. Any amount of divinity that shines in our lives is a wonderful glimpse at who he is, but we are still humans.

I believe Jesus came to say, “it’s ok to be human” and any fallibility we see in ourselves is balanced out because of his grace. We suffer in this life, but he embraces us in that suffering. We face temptation in this world, but he never leaves us nor forsakes us.

I don’t expect a congregation to replace Jesus in our lives. I don’t expect them to perfectly extend grace, just let people know God does. I have hope that congregations can grow up more and learn to understand others. Even though we have Jesus, we still need one another.

We need Jesus-with-skin-on, a human Jesus. Maybe we can practice hiding our condemnation so people don’t have to feel like they need to hide their humanity.

Linked up to “Life UnMasked” at Joy in this Journey

Sisterlisa

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