Our Family Misunderstood Halloween

Every year in October we begin seeing the Halloween controversy and I admit to being party to the drama in prior years. In my naivety and arrogance,  I followed legalism into a dirty trap of self righteousness. In the following days I will share the myths and truth of the three holidays of Samhain, All Saints Day, and Halloween. Many Christians will google and find many websites written by anti-holiday activists, but after years of research and down to earth talks with people who actually celebrate these days, I have come to discover many of those sites are misguided. Below is the beginning of our story.

I grew up enjoying Halloween and always tried to be creative with my costumes. My whole family celebrated the festivities, even my mom and grandmother dressed up some of those years. Halloween was always just a cultural holiday and it never meant anything more to me than a day to dress up with friends and go door to door to get treats from the neighbors. It was a great way to build hospitality with our community.

Then we got caught up in legalism and we began adjusting our celebrations and within a few years we no longer celebrated it at all. We were led to believe in some really horrible ‘origins’, all told with a ‘Christian’ perspective. Then we came to understand what grace really looked like in our modern world and culture. Not only that, but we got to meet and become friends with people who still followed many of their old world customs and spiritual practices. The stories we were originally told about the origins of Halloween weren’t accurate and the people who we have come to love are being misrepresented in today’s Christian culture.

The Halloween we see in America today is a hodgepodge of assorted traditions all mixed up and Hollywood-ized to an extreme. Add to that the marketing schemes of the candy communities and we’ve got a real mess. They’ll use anything to get us to buy that much candy. Halloween is the one holiday a year that sells more candy than any other.

My husband and I stopped in to the 99 Cent store last night to pick up some decorative Autumn dish cloths and I took a few minutes to walk through their Halloween section. Do people really stop to think about why skulls are popular for Halloween? Do they think it’s to promote death? I’m willing to bet that’s what most people think, but the skulls are actually a representation of honoring your loved ones who have departed, as in the traditional Mexican holiday: ‘Día de los Muertos’. I would personally prefer to honor them by putting up a special picture of them, than to use a skull. However, I understand where the skull tradition comes from.

Then there were these witch door hangings that make it look like a witch flew into your door and splatted into a permanent fix on your doorway. She has long scraggly black knotted hair and a green nose smashed to the side. Most people have accepted this image of a witch for many years, but have no idea where that imagery comes from or if it’s even accurate. I would venture to say there are a lot of Christians who are not aware of the fact that the witch trials never burned any real witches. They were Protestant women who were burned by their own pastors and deacons. A lot of Christians are generally afraid of witches..not the fairy tale witches..the real witches. They can see clearly that real modern day witches look just like them. They have real houses (not candy shacks in the woods), their kids go to the same schools (not Hogwarts), and they honor and appreciate the earth (Though, Christians should care for the earth too.  After all, Adam was charged with caring for the earth). Witches don’t have green skin and they’re not out to curse the ground you walk on and sentence you to an eternity in hell.

Christians may not agree with the spirituality of witches, Druids, or even Muslims, but they are called to love them and be kind to them. This is what Christ does. He loves the Samaritans and the Jews. We also know the call goes even further when we are taught that there are no longer Jews and Gentiles (pagans), male nor female, bond nor free, we are all one in him. The point is: There are no more labels to divide us. Christ came to love us before we loved him. Even if someone hasn’t loved him in return, it doesn’t change the fact that he loves them first and continues to pursue their hearts with devotion.

My next point in this article is to point out how we, as Christians, don’t like to be misrepresented. I am willing to bet that most Christians don’t want Westboro Baptist Church to represent them. On this same note, Pagans don’t want misinformed Christians to attempt to represent their beliefs with the cultural Hollywood-ized versions that are depicted during this Halloween month.

In the Spirit of grace, I will be exploring some of these myths in upcoming articles and show you how to extend grace to those who celebrate their cultural holidays differently. I’ll begin tomorrow and share with you what the real origins of these holidays are and how it’s nothing to be afraid of or discriminated against. We don’t have to agree with these holidays, but we are called to interact with our society as representatives of the grace-filled Spirit of Christ.

Be sure to subscribe to my blog via email so you don’t miss the updates on this important series on how Christian hospitality is to be practiced among those of different beliefs.

Related:

How We Misunderstood Samhain

How We Misunderstood All Saints Day

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Being a Wounded Christian Who Isn’t Alone

I’ve been reading along with Joy’s journey in finding church and find myself contemplating everything we have experienced over the last few years away from organized religion. In the past few years I have reconsidered what church really is, what it’s supposed to be, and if we humans have the ability to be the Church that I read about in the New Testament. Yet, I find it incredibly unfair of me to have thoughts of what it’s “suppose to be”. Isn’t that just another form of trying to get a community to measure up? Isn’t that we’re all tired of in the first place? My Good Shepherd said we could rest, graze in the meadows, and drink water from the river of life. How is it that we know this yet continue to run a rat race that tires us out?

In the last few months we have been hanging out with a group here in Southern California. It’s been a refreshing change for us, because we never thought we’d find a place where we could kick our shoes off and rest in. Our hearts and souls longed for a place where our souls could drink in life with others.

water by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere
The founders (Jeremy and Carolee) of this little group have been to our home several times and we are enjoying our growing friendship with them.I’ll be honest and say that I didn’t think I would be able to have friendships the way I had before. I finally mustered up the courage to talk to Carolee about my struggle as I shared my musings of whether or not my friendship meter was broken. The depth of emotional and spiritual intimacy with previous friends had suffered great damage and I didn’t think I would be able to have that again.

The bottom line is fear. The fear of being trampled on again, but if we remain afraid of pain then aren’t we admitting to ourselves that we are weak in wisdom? Did we not learn wisdom from the last turmoil? Didn’t we gain some hindsight and do we walk in doubt that we can make wiser choices in upcoming friendships? Maybe it’s not so much that we think people will fail us, but rather that we think we will fail ourselves? Is it fair to Jeremy, Carolee, and everyone else in this group if we come into their community with our minds made up that someone there is going to stab us in the back? That can’t possibly be a good attitude to have if we’re genuinely trying to grow and nurture one another in faith and life.

I love the motto of the group, ‘God without the guilt’. What a relief! It’s a relief to hear an uplifting message each week. It’s always a message about how God is not looking to guilt us into a relationship with him. With this thought in mind, I pondered whether we (all those who are looking for a community of faith) are pre-guilting every fellowship we get in the fitting room with when we fear being hurt if we decide to stay. Are we coming to these communities with a ‘you are guilty until proved innocent’ motive?

My friend Amy posed a question on her Facebook wall about Christian communities and a friend of hers said this, “To have someone who weeps with you and rejoices with you is priceless.”

Isn’t this what it all comes down to? Can we, as a diverse Body, really weep and rejoice with one another no matter our differences, baggage, scars, or otherwise? Is the search for Church about trusting people with our hearts or trusting God with our hearts? Are we afraid of the people or are we really afraid that God will stand by and let us get hurt again?

Can’t we just jump in and take it a day at a time, by faith? The Body is a universal community of hurting people who hurt people. If we stumble our way into a community with bleeding wounds, we’re bound to splatter a bit of blood on someone’s white robe, if we fall over ourselves and bump into others, we’re bound to cause some bruises. Maybe we can just learn to weep and rejoice with others. That sounds like a good start to a community of hurting folks.

I’ll end with this today, we have a sister who is hurting. Deeply hurting. Lauren, of Sparkling Adventures, has lost her infant son this week in a tragic event in Australia. The media has not been kind and random trolls on the internet have been wickedly hurtful to her while she is grieving. As a community of sisters, can we offer her some real life tangible support? You can make a donation to help her and her daughters. Let’s weep together and do what we can to offer love and lots of prayer.

Being a wounded solider out on the field may make us feel like we’re all alone, but when we come together we quickly see that there are far more of us that are hurting too.

~Sisterlisa

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I Need You

Today I want to share a very deep emotional message and I pray that my words will be received with the grace it is intended. I would like to ask that you consider praying before you read any further. This is something that is very near and dear to my heart and it’s time that I speak up about this.

Some of you are aware that I have gone through a lot of turmoil since my family departed from a cult. We have had to really wrestle with our beliefs and ask some very tough questions to help us sort through the very twisted teachings we were under for 15 years.

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{photo credit Clarissa Rose}

During this journey, I lost some online friends. I am not going to hold anything against them for unfriending me on Facebook, unfollowing me on Twitter, or for unsubscribing from my blog. I don’t blame them one bit. I’ve done my best to keep my toughest conversations reserved for my Facebook account where I was able to find a lot of support to help me sort through a lot of things. To some of these friends…they probably viewed me as ‘going down a slippery slope’. They were simply afraid and I’m so sorry that anything I have questioned had caused them to be afraid for me or for themselves. That was never my intention.

I have also had some friends who have remained connected to me. I am so beyond thankful for them! They have not always agreed with some of the things I have questioned, but they remained friends with me and loved me anyway. I can’t even begin to describe to you how much this has meant to me. They didn’t give up on me.

There have been some who, when I have questioned some things..have actually said, “Then throw the whole bible out!”

Can I just express to you how incredibly damaging that is to a person’s faith in Jesus?

I’m not sure these people who say these things are even aware of the damage they cause with statements like that. Walking with Jesus is not a race to cram a bunch of bible interpretations into our heads. Give people some space, some time, and a lot of grace to sort things out. Just because they may need to put some beliefs on a shelf for now, doesn’t mean they have to throw the whole bible out. It certainly doesn’t mean that they have to walk away from Jesus if they reject some ‘doctrine’.

So many times, more and more Christians are pushing people away from fellowship if they don’t line up with x,y,z. Can I share from my own personal experience what this is like for those being pushed away?

It’s incredibly painful to be rejected by those who are supposed to be there to help us sort through these things in life. When a person is wrestling with their beliefs, why are so many so quick to cast them off to fend for themselves?

We need you.

Those of us who have been so deeply wounded by twisted teachings….we need time to figure things out. We need to know that we’re still loved while we seek the Lord for help to sort through what is productive belief and what is not. You see, there are a lot of Christians who have been fed some very bad fruit. It gets to the point where any “fruit” looks bad to us. We get to the place where it’s very hard to trust what is good and what is not. Because for far too long we fed on bad fruit that poisoned our thinking process. While some Christians mean well, cramming what they think is good fruit down our throats will only choke us.

Even if it IS good fruit.

We need time to cut our ‘food’ into bite sized pieces and start re-introducing food a little at a time. Please be patient with us while we inspect all of our meal very closely. We don’t intend to be skeptical or without faith. We’re just trying to be wise so we don’t fall victim to leaning on someone else for our ‘nutrition’ again.

You may think you have all the right answers, but sometimes those answers had been twisted in our former churches so at first glance all we see is a big mess. Please don’t take that personally. It’s not that we reject Jesus, we just are trying to figure out how the bible got so twisted and it takes time to see God unravel those things for us. We need to be able to wrestle with the tangled mess and inspect it to see if there are any treasures that we can dig out and keep.

We need grace from our Christian sisters. We need to know that you aren’t going to cast us off. We need to know that we’re still included in the Kingdom.

Sure, we know Jesus still includes us…but we need to know that our sisters still include us. Even if we disagree on how we view the Kingdom. It’s a vast Kingdom. While it may be snowing in one corner of the Kingdom it may be sunny and hot in another. We don’t need to fight about it. When we describe what we’re seeing in the Kingdom, give us grace? Our experiences are going to be different. There are valleys, desserts, and mountain tops in the Kingdom. We’ll each travel through different lands in this Kingdom, through different seasons, but it’s still the Kingdom.

It’s ok if you don’t want to pass through the dessert with someone who is. But can you love us while he takes us down that path?

Sometimes we pass through very cold winters in the Kingdom. You don’t have to walk the icy paths with us, but can you love us with warmth during our journey?

We need you.

Our sisterhood should not be made to feel as though they’ll be cast off by one another when they need to speak up about what they’re going through. Even if they are questioning long held traditional beliefs.

We need you to stand by us , especially when we’re questioning long held traditional beliefs.

It doesn’t mean you have to agree with us or even put a stamp of approval on our journey.

We just need to know that you love us while we try to sort things out.

Can I make this more personal now?

*I* need you.

I want to continue in my faith in Jesus and I need others who have faith in Jesus.

He has brought me through a lot of valleys, he has put me on treks that climb rugged mountains, he has asked me to pass through some really rough rapids and I don’t always understand why. Only He can reveal that to me.

But while he does… I still need you.

Please don’t give up on me.

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