Coming out of legalism was not easy. Not only were my former friends shunning me, but the ones who seemed to patiently wait for our ‘resurrection from the dead’ were ready to pile on their “I told ya so” arguments. It felt like we had ‘picket lines on both sides of our home’. So I’m going to share with you some hindsight that I hope will help you as loved ones come back to the ‘land of the living’.

{photo credit Scott}
1. Never say, “I told you so” about their former church or pastor.
2. If you can handle it…let them vent without you saying a word.
3. Be ready to hear their emotional vomit. Purging from legalism takes time.
4. If they become legalistic about legalism, know that this is normal. It’s how they process the garbage they were taught. It’s best they do this to convince themselves to never go back. Example: a drug addict in recovery should be just as adamant about the drug world they came out of.
5. Pray for them often and don’t give up hope that they’ll find healing.
6. Never tell them they have a problem with bitterness and unforgiveness.
7. If they confess that they were sexually assaulted or physically abused in any way, help them to talk to a counselor and get a lawyer.
Healing from an abusive religion takes a lot of time. There are so many issues to deal with, tangled messes to unravel, and soul searching to do. May we show more grace to our wounded brothers and sisters as they wrestle with their feelings and beliefs.
Be the kind of Christian friend that would make it worth it for them to keep the faith.






















