New Fashioned Women

Over the past two weeks I have written about rediscovering who I am and about my identity as a new fashioned woman. I announced that I’ll begin a new series about my journey in finding my identity as a new fashioned woman through my faith in Christ. What I know now would have been so helpful to know at a much younger age, but for whatever reason it turned out that I came upon this deeper understanding of who I am later in life. I have four children and I desire to impart to them as much of this understanding as I can, in hopes they will be able to discover the foundation of their identity while they are young. I believe this is such an important part of our lives and no one should have to struggle with their identity for half of their life like I have.

artbw by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere

I have thought intently about how to describe this journey the Lord and I have been on and I want to open my heart and soul in such a way that you can truly see the beauty God has worked in my life while I walked my personal path. I do not believe for a second that everyone’s path will look just like mine. I believe we all have a different way in which the Lord walks with us, yet I have hope that maybe there is something you see in my journey that gives you some insight into what you’re facing as a woman today.

We are unique creatures created in their image. Women are such a sweet part of humanity and I think far too often we hear oppressive voices that hinder us from truly shining as empowered people. We hear the lie that openly expressive sexuality is the identity of a woman, but I don’t believe that about myself. I’m not opposed to a wonderfully intimate relationship, but I don’t find my identity in that. Some women do. They believe their sexual power is who they really are inside, but I believe that is a dangerous path to walk. I think it’s dangerous because our bodies will not always remain as sexually alluring and losing that can cause many women to suffer from depression. When their identity is in their sexuality and their sexuality begins to wane, their identity suffers.

I think you understand what I mean and it is my intent to begin this thought with that scenario for a purpose. It shows you an extreme identity crisis, but not all identity problems are in such an extreme. Sometimes we lose, or misplace, our focus of identity in things that seem to be good. Friends…sisters… as Christian women it is far too easy to be deceived in our church culture. Just as a woman in the scenario above, we too can shift our eyes, hearts, and minds away from our true identity and onto things that sound so good. Christian culture can steal our identity by replacing it with ministry, public accolades, and the candy coated Christianeze lifestyle. While much of this culture can be a beautiful thing, it should never replace our identity.

The things that we enjoy in our culture are not who we are within. All of these things in our lives will one day pass away.

Mark 13:31 “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.” ESV

We will not always have our children at home. We won’t always homeschool. We are not promised tomorrow and sadly tragedy does strike us and we could be without our loved ones at any moment. Even Job did not suspect that he would lose his home, his wealth, and all of his children. These things could all disappear and what would we have left?

For many years my identity was slipping away into the Christian culture. I was unsuspecting, young, and naive. In the midst of my church community I was becoming more lost over time. I was never without Christ, but my eyes shifted off him and onto a cultural identity that was not who I really am. Sisters, this is a hard concept to accept for most Christians. We want to believe that we are fully submerged into a wonderful Christian culture that would never do us harm, but consider this…………..even your adversary can appear as an angel of light.

I don’t want you to fear, rather I would like to equip you. I want to remind you of who you are because of the indwelling Christ. Far too often we lose ourselves in this world, even in church world. Most of our problems stem from not knowing who we really are.

Christian culture changes a little over time and we adjust according to those slight changes. Over time we gradually end up where we never thought we would. Sometimes women end up totally lost in adultery with a pastor with no sense of how to escape. Sometimes we get lost in legalistic parenting and end up hurting precious little ones, thinking we are right in the process. Sometimes we get lost in our homes and our dutiful housekeeping routines become our idols. We find ourselves pillowing our head at night under the burden of guilt, shame, and fear. We grasp for something to pull us out and in our blindness we think being more strict with our plans will free us and we end up falling hard.

Failure?

How did we end up here? Why didn’t I see it coming? Did anyone see it coming and not warn me? Did they try and I chose to live in denial?

Idolizing a false identity is an addiction. This is not an easy reality to face within ourselves. We’re “good Christian woman” and therefore we are not addicts. I know we like to think that, but sadly we find ourselves lost in deception.

All these seemingly good Christian things in life can end up being the very things that cause us to fall.

Our addiction for being the best Christian wife, best homeschooling mom, even the best blogger can get us in a lot of trouble. We end up losing sight of who we really are, in Christ. There are many things in this earthly life that can get us off kilter from some of the most extreme affairs of the world to some of the most ‘seemingly’ good things in our Christian culture.

Christ is our Anchor at all times, not just in the storms. He is our lighthouse shining the way everyday, not just in the darkness of night.

Who would ever think that we could become so lost, blind, and deaf in the middle of church life? The enemy, that’s who.

Sisters, I hope to encourage you with a wise caution, not to make you stumble in fear. We need to be vigilant to remember who we are. Do not allow yourselves to become swayed from your identity in Christ. Being a great soloist in church is a blessed thing, but that’s not your identity. If you lose your voice, you are still you…in Him. Sweet friends, you can be a fabulous pianist and bless the congregation with uplifting melodies and if you were to break a hand you are still you…in Him. We can strive to be the best moms in the world to our kids, but one day they’ll grow up and move on into lives of their own and you will still be you…in Him. While these things in life can change at anytime, may we not lose sight of who we are.

We are loved from the foundation of the world, created in Christ, preserved in the Holy Spirit, and living a resurrected life in the Kingdom of God. This is our identity and may we always remind each other of this most valuable truth.

I hope you’ll join me each Monday as I share more about our identity in the Solid Rock. Lets be encouragers for one another, my sisters…to keep our focus on the truth of who we are. Lets lift one another up in our identity as New Fashioned Women. Off with the old and in with the new.

2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he she is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” ESV (with a touch of Sisterlisa)

While we look at areas of concern and soul stirring reminders from scripture about who we are in Christ, I’ll also share…

  • How to find balance
  • How to avoid the pitfalls of condemnation
  • How to remain successful and get refocused
  • What to do when you find yourself in the valley of death
  • Empowering yourself in the Lord
  • Building your faith in Christ
  • Developing and nurturing a sisterhood of support
  • and much more!

We need to be reminded of who we are and lift each other up in our faith. There are many things that can cause us to forget, so lets be vigilant sisters to support each other in keeping our new fashioned identity in Christ at the forefront of all we do.

Feel free to take the button for your blog and invite your friends to join us. Together we can form a powerful team of support that will encourage us to move forward together in our faith. We’ll have a link up for you to share your own steps in the journey so we can all come and offer support to one another. See you Monday!

Sisterlisa

 

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Are we ready for raw?

On Friday I made a leap of faith to join in a community of faith bloggers through Lisa-Jo’s writing prompt, 5 Minute Fridays. I took a deep breath and jumped in..holding it just long enough to get a bit dizzy. Abstract thoughts swirled in my head as my spiritual equilibrium tried to find balance. I’ve been so hurt before..in other communities. I’ve been rejected. It’s not fair of me to hold my breath about each one after that, yet I breathe deep and hold it tighter, hesitating to exhale…bracing myself for the blow of rejection. Could I be reaping what I sowed when I was lost in legalism? Desperately gasping for grace.. Lord, please sustain me as I try again.

I want to make new friends, really I do. Stefanie joined in the writing prompt and spoke descriptive words like raw, authentically, transparent, vulnerability… and I sigh long.

I tried that and it didn’t go very well.

Many are asking for the same things, encouraging each other to be…

r-e-a-l

But are we prepared for real? Have we seriously prepared ourselves through prayer and meditated on what raw would look, sound, or feel like?

Will our responses be seasoned with grace and can our actions stand firmly in faith extending grace to those who trust us with their vulnerability?

In hindsight I can say that I was not warmly embraced in my vulnerability. Most of them walked away. I was jaded by open wounds in my flesh. Open wounds not of their making, but salt has a way of hurting exposed cuts.

Here’s where I would like to open up my frail heart and allow you to see the not nearly-healed scars. I don’t want to drudge up the things that hurt, but rather share what helps to heal..what helps to support one another. If we’re going to be raw, we need to be prepared.

When I (we) share my (our) vulnerability, I (we) need…

Someone to be slow to speak, quick to listen. The words that come out may not make sense at first, that’s why I share them..I need to make sense of them myself. So let me get it all out. Just listen. No need to provide standard cliches, they don’t help anyway. Just smile and affirm that I’m being heard.

Don’t agree. A real friend doesn’t need to be in agreement with everything, in fact I’d prefer that you didn’t. I need the diversity to help me sort through everything. I need the differing perspectives.

Don’t build walls. Even though I need differing perspectives I don’t need walls that shut me out. That doesn’t help. Please stay warm, I need you.

Don’t correct me. I need the freedom to be wounded, sad, or even angry.

Don’t have all the answers. I don’t need you to have all the answers, I just need love. But do you know someone who specializes in these kinds of things? The kinds of rawness I share..that we all share?

flower basket by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere

Do give support, gentle support. It’s okay to say, “I don’t understand..yet, but I would like you to know that I care about you.”

Do confess that it’s hard for you. I find it comforting to know others feel it’s difficult too. It’s difficult to share it, I can understand how it’s difficult to hear it.

Remind me of his grace. I (we) desperately need to be reminded of his life saving grace.

Be patient. (tears flowing) Please be patient while I (we) try to figure things out. Life is a journey of discovery and inquiry while digging deep to understand God. His ways are not our ways so it’s complex to understand.

Hug my soul. No matter what we disagree on, don’t understand, or think is uncomfortable..can you hug my soul?

Be courageous. I know it’s not easy to stand by the side of someone who is thrashing about, especially if you feel helpless about my transparency. Just be there. Send a tweet, “Thinking about ya, Lisa” Drop by my Facebook page.. “like” something to let me know you were there. Please don’t be ashamed of being jesus-with-skin-on to people who hurt. Stand with us.

*deep sigh*

Share links…that you think might encourage me.

So are we really ready, prepared, equipped to hear raw, transparency, vulnerability?

Are we really ready to walk with each other?

Sisterlisa

Linking up with

Ann Voskamp

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5 Minute Friday: Encouragement

Joining in the 5 Minute Friday post with Gypsy Mama (and her friends) for the first time ever. I know, I know..where have I been? Lisa-Jo has been blogging for-e-vah! Ok maybe not THAT long, she looks pretty darned young. So the question is how do we connect and encourage one another?

Five Minute Friday

  • First of all, I blog.  I read books of inspiration and underline all kinds of tid bits then I create articles to inspire, equip, and empower others.
  • Second, I utilize the HECK out of Facebook. Between my personal wall and my pages I do all I can to encourage people.
  • Thirdly, I take full advantage of Hootsuite so I can blast my articles and inspirational quotes out to cyberspace.

But all of this is really about how I use social networking to put my message out there, the message is where it’s at. Here it is..

I believe in you and I think you need to believe in you too.

There’s too much condemnation in the world today and we, as sisters, need all the support we can get.

So you go girls! I cheer you on. Wanna cheer with me? I hope to make some friends with ya. :)

Sisterlisa

Edited to Add: How I got this writing prompt wrong *face palm*

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